Hello 50

​Wrinkles
 
I was registering students to vote this summer at Penn State when a student riding his bike passed by. I asked if he wanted to register. He replied, “Oh, yes. I want to vote. How long will it take?” I assured him it would take less than five minutes. He completed the application in record time and was on his way; he never got off the bike. It was an inspiring three days; young people bring wonderful energy.
 
Little did I know that on my way home to Massachusetts, I would slip and fall at Philadelphia Airport and fracture my proximal humerus, commonly known as my shoulder. I ran all over campus, navigating uneven surfaces and stairs in unexpected places, only to fall in the damn airport. Jefferson Hospital was accommodating and efficient. They took an X-ray of my shoulder, put a sling on my arm, administered morphine, and wished me a safe flight home.
 
At first, convalescing was quite relaxing. Medications can do that. After the drugs ran out, it became extremely painful, and I felt useless and unproductive. Sleeping on my back didn’t work for me either. I was tired all day, spending many afternoons using my computer with one hand. Never take your two hands and arms for granted.
 
While sitting on the couch and browsing the internet, I found an article about Joanna Gaines, the co-host of Fixer Upper on HGTV, co-founder of Magnolia Journal, and involved in various design ventures. I read that she plans to leave Fixer Upper to focus on developing a new cosmetic collection to sell on her latest TV channel. I felt intrigued, as I was bored with my physical situation, and found myself reading about a new product, Glo Vous Derm Allure, which promises to smooth wrinkles and make me look younger. I was skeptical at first, but Joanna seemed like a quality person, and since I color my gray hair, why not smooth my wrinkles away?
 
The article featured before-and-after photos of senior women and flattering customer reviews. Free samples were also offered. Suddenly, I needed this product, so I walked to my desk to grab my credit card for $17.85 in shipping and handling. After filling out the order form, I hesitated when entering my credit card number; I deserved to be wrinkle-free. It had been a tiring, uneventful, and dull couple of months. I pressed the Purchase button.
 
The message read, “Declined.” I was surprised, so I checked my card for expiration or any other issues, and then I received a text from Bank of America.
 
“BofA Security: Elizabeth, your credit card ending in XXXX was used at BESTDAILYDOSAGEFORMULA, $17.85, Declined, 10/29/24. Did you authorize this activity? Reply YES or NO.”
 
I answered YES!
 
"Thanks for verifying your activity. If you have declined transactions, please try again. Otherwise, nothing else is needed.”
 
I returned to the order to try again. But this time, I hesitated too long and didn’t enter my credit card number. It felt like a sign that I shouldn’t have done this. The wrinkles would stay.
 
Epilogue
 
I’m still in the sling and getting better every day. Out of curiosity, I put “Joanna Gaines Beauty Products” into Google, and a CBS News story popped up about celebrity scams using beauty creams. Joanna was being interviewed, and she said, “I am not leaving Fixer Upper. I do not have a new collection of beauty products, so please don’t buy any face cream. It’s a scam."
 
Updated Epilogue 
 
I am in the final month of my six-month recovery period for my shoulder. My doctor has cleared me, but I am still working with physical therapy. My resting pain is gone; it only hurts when I reach for the car door or try to put on my backpack. I'm back at the gym, riding the bike and lifting some light weights. Something felt missing in my workout. I was intrigued by chair yoga to strengthen my core, so I purchased the 28-day program on Instagram. I know what you’re thinking: when I entered my credit card information, my credit card saved me again.

 
Thanks for reading. I still want that yoga chair program. If you have one or know where I can purchase one (that isn't on the internet), I would appreciate the info. I'm banning myself from internet purchases! 🥰